Long Overdue

You've missed us, we know. We can only apologise. You see, in previous, happier times, distraction could be dealt with by going for a quick one handed white knuckle ride. Nowadays, that is forbidden, and so our minds wander like that of a small child with ADHD, 10 minutes after consuming copious amounts of coke.

We sit down to post, and suddenly the next room seems more interesting. It is 'grass is greener' syndrome at its finest - there's nothing in the next room. Ever. Without any sort of release, life just seems bland and uninteresting. Is this my body's way of telling me to curl up and die because I have lived past my purpose and am no longer spreading my seed? It could be. Maybe I'm just getting depressed which would mean that wanking is a cure.

Note to the NHS - stop forking out money on expensive anti depressants to hand out like sweets, and point your patients to a free porn site. No more depression, government saves money. 2 Birds, 1 stone.

Cure your depression - go and knock one out!