Health and Mental Wellbeing

In the olden days, masturbation was essentially a sin, for some reason. It was said that it would give you hairy palms and make you go blind - obviously false as I'm not typing this on a braille keyboard, and the cold December air makes me question my sanity for not wearing gloves.

Speaking of sanity, my dreams last night left me both amazed and incredibly fearful of what my mind can produce. The story line, if there ever was one, escapes me, but a few things stick with me:

• Elbert Einstein owned a Pokemon
• Osama bin Laden made an appearance
• I spoke French in a market, and got a chair for free
• The police were there (not the band)
• The Light Rifle from Halo 4 also popped up a couple of times
• No obvious sexual elements

The lack of sexual themes is strange, because if I were to die today, and my organs donated, some orphans somewhere would be very happy with their 2 brand new spacehoppers from Santa.

Obviously, this combination of characters and events does not lead for a linear, easily understandable plot, and any help unscrambling this mess would be greatly appreciated.

We're not even half way through - I genuinely fear for my mental health.

This makes more sense than my dream